What will be.

May 9, 2011 § 1 Comment

I am praying that my appointment at the hospital goes well next week. As I visited the church, I dragged myself and my reluctant legs out into the graveyard; looking at all the stones time has weathered, all the mounds of grass where bones are quietly melting into the soil. I saw in the eye of my mind the skeletons under the earth, sleeping forever, and thought about no matter what we are dealt in life’s game, we all end up here one day.

This thought is morbid for a nice day, no? But I do not think so – I was sitting by a patch of the most delicate purple violets, come to a vibrant life under the gaze of the Sun. I saw the little roots of the pretty plants reaching into the earth where the people are resting, and I was happy in my little quiet moment thinking much about the Infinite. The Angels are still not telling me anything about what will happen to my legs, and I must learn more to detach. A thing happened at the weekend that gave me the fresh sight, that one of my housemates left the gas on during the night.

I thought, after I had profusely thanked God that we had not died in an explosion, how sadly ironic it would have been, to have spent my last days fretting and worrying about my future next week, when such a future may have been wiped out in a heartbeat this weekend! How stupid, I said to myself, what will be will make itself known in good time, and these near misses must only highlight how futile the anxious state! Does the gnawing of fingernails and the biting of lips prolong our little lives by even the one second? How reminded I am to thank God for all of my precious seconds!

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§ One Response to What will be.

  • Heidi says:

    Well said! I’m thinking of writing my next post on living in the moment. I have no idea how to become good at that. I do suspect it’s the secret to happiness.

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